Tim Slagle

A humble stand up comedian, fighting a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

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The continuing tragedy of gun violence, suggests a radical new solution.

The homicide rate in Chicago, isn’t caused by an oversupply of guns, it’s caused by an oversupply of bad shots. It seems the majority of the gun homicides in the City are all innocent bystanders. At least the ones we care about are. There are rarely any tears shed when a bad guy kills another bad guy.

The latest tragedy was Nykea Aldridge, cousin of Dwayne Wade, who was killed in the crossfire of a Southside Chicago gun fight. She was pushing a stroller home, after registering her children for school.

The problem is clear: Gang Bangers just don’t know how to shoot. They hold their gun sideways with one hand, and empty the entire magazine randomly. In this last case Nykea Aldridge was hit four times, while the intended target was unscathed. Stormtroopers are better shots than Chicago Gang Bangers.

A good sniper could have taken out the intended target with a single bullet, and Nykea would have made it all the way home. These incidents have to be stopped. So lets start teaching kids how to shoot.

Chicago has already attempted everything else. Gun Free Zones, metal detectors, CAPS meetings, and midnight basketball have all had no measurable affect. The City has the strictest gun control in the country, and nothing has changed. In fact the two perpetrators of this crime were on parole for previous gun violations. One of them was even wearing an ankle bracelet. If you can’t keep convicted gun criminals away from guns, your laws are farcical.

There was a time when rifle training was a part of any good school curriculum. The Second Amendment suggests that a free nation requires a well regulated militia, let’s start regulating it. I would bet the NRA may even donate money for such a program.

And while we’re at it, let get these kids some good guns. Snub nose pistols are unreliable for long distance shooting. AR-15s would make a lot more sense. We need to make high quality firearms more affordable. Furthermore, it’s been shown that putting good reliable weapons into the hands of law abiding citizens will reduce crime.

The definition of insanity, often misattributed to Einstein, is that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Which is exactly what Chicago has been doing for the 50 years.

Yet I’m quite certain that my humble suggestion, which has never been tried, will be categorized as pure insanity.

What’s the definition of Irony?