After the grand success of creating five million green jobs, and putting a million electric cars on the road, the Administration embarks on a new mission: making guns smarter.

One thing that seems apparent today: anytime a product has to assure you it’s an intelligent choice, it probably isn’t. Daimler-Benz decided to name its enclosed motorized wheelchair a Smart Car, because driving it on an icy road, alongside a gravel truck, seems anything but.

According to The Trace, the Obama Administration has decided to push smart guns; firearms that require a fingerprint identification chip to operate, much like some new phones.

A 16-page report released Friday morning outlines ways that the federal government can push smart guns to market, both by subsidizing research and using its own purchasing power. The report says the Department of Justice and Department of Homeland Security will form a working group, led by the National Institute of Justice (NIJ), to actively partner with federal, state, and local police forces to develop a set of criteria for smart guns that would meet their high standards. (full story)

Guns are pretty simple devices for a good reason, they need to be reliable. Pull trigger, release bullet.

Why can’t we make guns as smart as our phones? Well, because phones aren’t always that smart. Any gun owner who’s been frustrated by dropped calls or dead zones, will tell you they don’t really want those bugs built into their firearms.

It’s not uncommon for calls to be missed entirely, only to find a voice mail from an important client a day later. How frustrating it would be, if you were to pull the trigger, only to have the gun fire 24 hours later.

Not to mention battery life. It’s the bane of smart phones, and all over America, you can see people on phones that were intended to be wireless, plugged into wall outlets. Robberies always happen at inconvenient times, and you can never be sure you remembered to charge up the gun when you leave the house. Imagine getting robbed, and having to dig through your purse for a charger and cord before you can defend yourself.

These are some of the reasons why Smart Guns have never made it out of the Lab. There is no consumer demand. And no matter how much government money you dump into a bad idea, it will still be a bad idea. Most of Amtrak is still relatively unused despite the hundreds of billions spent over the past 40 odd years.

But here is a possible solution: Instead of using the money to promote Smart Guns, why not contract out for a manufacturer to provide smart weapons for the Secret Service? Why wouldn’t we want our President defended with the most intelligent firearms available? Celebrity endorsements have long been recognized as an effective marketing tactic.

The reluctance to embrace this idea, from both the Administration, and the agency sworn to defend it, is all you need to know why “Smart” Guns, will never be commercially viable.

Perhaps resources would be better directed at creating Smart Giovernment.