A recent message from Koko the Gorilla sounds remarkably similar to something a Liberal Arts student would say.

2016 will be remembered as the year I officially stopped believing in a talking gorilla. While I originally thought it was possible that a gorilla could learn a few simple phrases like “Koko want cheese” or “My butt itches”, I never expected her to show an ability to reason; a talent that seems unique in the human species.

It’s perfectly possible that animals can learn simple language. Every dog learns how to say, “I would really like you to give me some food from your plate” with his eyes and simple paw motions.  So given the advanced intelligence and finger dexterity of a gorilla, it’s possible they could specify things a little better, like: “no salad, just the meat.” But it’s doubtful that Gorillas are capable of advanced language skills. You don’t expect them to say things like “life is meaningless” or “Nietzsche makes me want to throw poop.”

So when Koko started saying things that were obviously beyond the comprehension level of an animal  in captivity, it sounds suspicious. A recent message from Koko to the world seems quite unlikely. According to The Daily Mail. Koko has a message for the humans of the Planet: “Join the Paris Climate Agreement”. Well not exactly. Her exact words were, “Man stupid, make Koko cry; protect Earth, Nature see you.”

It reminds me of the old public service ads where an Italian guy dressed like an Indian, walks through the garbage left by the roadside, and starts to cry. It was quite effective because Americans feel that Indians are closer to the Earth, and can hear the planet complaining.

In like fashion they think animals have the same ability. Since Koko is the ambassador from the animal kingdom, we probably need to take her warnings seriously. But how can you? She was born in a cage at the San Francisco Zoo, and has been living in a preserve 35 miles south for the past 45 years. She really hasn’t seen much of the Earth, (and in general the nation is far less polluted today than it was in the 70s).

So how does she know that the Earth is in trouble? Perhaps she subscribes to Mother Jones, and listens to NPR. More likely, she’s been told by her handlers that her brothers and sisters in the wild are endangered because of humans. She isn’t really forming a conclusion, she’s repeating exactly what she’s been taught, hoping that it will earn her a really nice treat.

And if she keeps it up, she might get an honorary degree from Berkeley.