Tim Slagle

A humble stand up comedian, fighting a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

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Heinz is about to make the biggest mistake since letting John Kerry run for President. They’re marketing ketchup as “Chicago Hot Dog Sauce. From the Tribune:

In the emotional equivalent of tricking a baby into believing that the spoon is an airplane, Heinz today released a “new” product called Chicago Dog Sauce that looks suspiciously like, gasp, ketchup. The audacity! (full story)

Whoever came up with idea cannot be a Chicago Native. There might be a bitter rivalry between  Sox and Cubs, but one thing everyone agrees on is, that you never put ketchup on a Hot Dog. It’s mustard or nothing. Chicagoans would vote for a Republican before they put ketchup on a hot dog.

Next to making sure your Alderman bill is paid up, there is one other hard rule in Chicago: The only time ketchup should ever be in the vicinity of a hot dog, is if you order it with french fries. Waving a British Flag in Canaryville will get you in less trouble than putting ketchup on a hot dog.

Of course, they have been fooled in the past. Seventy years ago, a guy from Texas marketed a casserole as Chicago Style Pizza, and now, even residents take for granted. But long time residents know that it simply isn’t true.

Perhaps that’s the angle. They want tourists from Milwaukee to think that their beloved Hot Dog condiment tastes remarkably similar to Chicago Style Hot Dog sauce. Much like that Casserole is now known as Chicago Style Pizza around the globe, they want the world to think that we ruin our Hot Dogs too. It’s just the kind of thing you’d expect out of a company from Pittsburgh.

Of course, it’s also been 32 years since the introduction of New Coke. We’re probably due.

 

 

 

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