Shortly after the Democratic Party released its last financial statement, Donald Trump made a generous offer to refer them to a good bankruptcy attorney.
It is just the kind of crass remark you expect from the Donald, who has little sympathy for a Party once expected to raise a billion dollars by 2016. Instead, their debts from the 2014 election are overwhelming their cash on hand.
The problem stems from a lack of liquidity among traditional DNC supporters. Between donations to the Clinton Foundation, and the Obama Library Fund, most loyal Democrats have barely enough money left to continue their PBS pledges.
Suggestions are, that Big Bird’s flight over to HBO was driven in part by this insolvency. “Look, I’ve been at this racket for almost half a century now, and I’m still living next door to Oscar”, said the Bird in a recent interview. “I just can’t see myself spending what should be my retirement years pitching tote bags. Nobody gave Kermit any crap when he left the show and started working for Disney.”
Things have become so desperate that a plea has gone out to the Koch Brothers. There are rumors of an offer for a prominent placement of their products in Democrat campaigns, perhaps a claim that Hillary only uses Brawny® paper towels to wipe her server.