Hey Chief,

I see you’ve got yourself in a bit of a bind over your team’s name. Yes there is a long legacy of the Redskins, and I know the logo was a depiction of an actual Native American and designed by a Native American. Unfortunately language changes with the times. Today people laugh at you when you ask them to get you a beer out of the “icebox.” Meanwhile, yesterday’s distinctions become today’s slurs. An Anthropology textbook from just a few decades ago would read like Mein Kampf in today’s classrooms

I concur with your decision, and suggest you use the money you would have spent on litigating your rights to maintain the mascot, on something frivolous, like, perhaps, improving your team. It’s not the name that makes fans ashamed , as much as your record. Right now it’s so bad that even I, a Detroit native and lifelong Lions fan, am in a position to snicker at you.

I’m also sorry that all the options you were considering have already been trademarked by Martin McCaulay. “Washington Red Tails” would have been a great option, incorporating the team colors and you would only have to change three letters. Unfortunately the amount of money this guy wants to sell it to you, is probably more than what your team is worth. (See what I mean about Lions fans?)

However, I think I have the perfect solution: why not sell the naming rights for your team? You’re the Washington Team, why not adopt the Washington Way? Pay to play.  It’s the a perfect way to name the team of our Nation’s Capital. Washington Football, brought to you by the same people who bought your Congressman. Imagine the prestige of naming your team after one of our nation’s biggest Lobbyists! You could be the proud owner of the Lockheed Martins, The Dow Chemicals, or the American Federation of Teachers.

It’s not new to the sport, as you probably understand there in FedEx® field. Sports equipment manufacturers proudly display their logos on NFL uniforms. US Steel was once the logo for Pittsburgh. And the Ford Bronco was unintentionally sponsored by OJ Simpson.

The added benefit is, you can solicit tribes that own Casinos. You’ve been saying for years that 90% of Native Americans approve of the team name, well lets try that out. If you are correct, they will jump at the opportunity. (Perhaps the Seminole Tribe would want you to be the Washington Hard Rocks.) In the meantime, you can take some of that extra revenue you get from selling the rights, and buy yourself a quarterback. (Go Lions!)

Just trying to help out.

Your Friend,
Tim